When people find out that I’m an atheist, they sometimes ask… “so what do you think will happen to you after you die?” My answer is simple. I think I will cease to exist. I don’t know this for sure and I would be excited to have an opportunity for an afterlife, but I think I will cease to exist.
“Are you afraid of death?”, the question follows. And when I first lost my faith I would have answered “yes”. I answered this way, because I was raised with the belief that I would live forever. And I believed it. So when I lost my faith, I also lost my immortality.
And it was shocking… I went from thinking I would live forever, no matter what happened to me today, tomorrow, or anytime down the road, to thinking that any moment could be my last. It wasn’t an easy transition… but if you don’t believe in an afterlife, then you just don’t believe, easy or not.
I went through a phase where I reflected a lot. I always reflect a lot, but I reflected more than usual. I would think to myself… this day could be my last. And it scared me. I didn’t think it was a probability, but it was possible (and of course still is).
But then something changed… the idea of mortality transitioned from being a fear to becoming a freedom. “This day could be my last” became “this day could be my last!”.
I know they’re the same words, but you can read them in two different ways. One is fear based, the next is freedom based. As in, one day my world is going to end whether it’s today or tomorrow or 80 years from now. It could happen at any time… so it’s time to make every day meaningful!
It’s up to us to make our lives meaningful – and there are plenty of different meanings to choose from. For myself, I’ve found a deeper purpose in relationships and adventures. And I’m blessed to know lots of awesome people and have way too much fun.
And while I don’t want any of this to end, I’m not afraid of the end. If it happens in 80 years, or tomorrow, or today, all I can say is that I’m happy to have been here. I can only die because I’m alive. And I’m alive.
Hey Chad. Haven’t replied in a while so I thought I would.
Nice to see your thoughts. I’ve thought about what happens when we die alot. Sometimes I prefer not to worry about it but it is a concern of mine. I had to think of why I’m concerned and there are a few reasons.
I love my life. I really don’t want to lose it. So the idea of dying “forever” really does scare me. A sociologist might say that we came up with the idea of eternal life because we are afraid of losing it. But for me, eternal life is something I really want. And I’m not sure I would want to give it up, even if I am deluded.
Do you think there is any harm in this thinking?
I don’t know… depends how you approach it I guess. The harm would be – and I’m not saying you do this – to not take full advantage of the finite amount of time we have available. As in… if you think you’re going to live forever are you going to make every day count in the same way you would if you thought you were only going to live another 80 years (or less)? If you’re still gonna make every day count, I don’t see any problem…
And of course I want to live forever too. I think most people do. Even a lot of people who say they don’t want to live forever still want to wake up tomorrow morning. So what would change 100 years from now or 1000 years from now? Tomorrow morning will still be just as desirable as it is now…
Anyways, the problem for me is that even though I want to live forever, I just don’t see any reason to expect such a thing. But if you think there is a reason to expect such a thing, then I guess that offers you hope and that’s fine. I just hope you still treat this life as though it’s your only one. What’s the saying? “Live each day as though it’s your last, but learn as though you’re going to live forever.” Not sure if it’s a perfect fit here… but it seems like a decent way to approach life.
Amen